You've been having these dreams. About your mother. You didn't want them to happen at first, but what else was going to happen, with how she's been acting? How she's been flirting with you? Wearing those outfits, leaving the door open when she showers, changes. Asking you how she looks before she goes out. You need to talk to someone about it, but who would understand? So you started journaling. And maybe, yeah, you left it on your bed on purpose. Maybe you wanted her to know. To find it and read all your dirty, nasty thoughts...to know if she felt the same way.